What a feeling in my soul, love burns brighter than sunshine.
I am a delusion angel
I am a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don’t want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we’re going
Lodged in life
Like two branches in a river
Caught in the current
I’ll carry you. You’ll carry me
That’s how it could be
Don’t you know me?
Don’t you know me by now?
So you smile, walk away and realize that you’ve become strangers again.
And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have.
-The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Foggy summit ridge, Tagaytay. Those first few days. Oh, love?
Look. May sweet lover sa baba. Siguro break up scene sa harap ng taal. Romantic.
had I known, the last time I saw you,
that it would be the last time I saw you,
I would’ve held you a moment longer,
kissed you harder, and said my thanks
and my farewells, instead
of begging, “see you soon?”
you called it closure,
"a proper goodbye,"
but nothing is ever
quite proper enough for death.
Last night, I had my most terrible headache due to my colds. It kept me awake till 4am. I tried to close my eyes and sleep to ease the pain. I find it hard. Very. I whimpered and did all positions to find comfort, hoping there’s a place in my bed that offers an instant relief. It didn’t stop and had no choice but to suffer in this, I believe a temporary paroxysm.
I thought, it happened to me before. Maybe like two years ago. I don’t know when and how, but gradually smithereens of the past return in a form of which I can’t really determine.
Last night, as I glorify the harsh feeling of torture, I tried to recall the agony I felt before. Wondering which is better or which one is worst. I tried to locate some entry point in me. Will I able to determine events in my life that manifested similar pain? And finally… yes, I found one.
I found one when I remember you.
I can’t really determine which is worst. Maybe they’re in same level of threshold. Slowly the affliction was covered up with desire of my body to sleep. Slowly in pitch black room, I disremembered the pain. I disremembered you in me… again.
The morning after, I woke up with much terrible pain.
Been to Luneta Grandstand last friday. Assisted all performers at “Rock & Rage: Abolish Pork Barrel System Concert.”
Its been a long time since I posted something here. This became a “Like Blog” instead of “Reblog Blog”. I “liked” tons of posts here! Sorry for that. Sorry not sorry. Haha
Hello sunshine. I miss you. Its raining here all day long and it makes me sad.
I know things are ephemeral, but ugh, I’m not prepared for this. It was a normal night for me, went home during rush hour. Passengers overloaded inside buses, standing ovation time. However, I managed to ride off safely. Forcefully walked at the footbridge because it is the only way getting to my favorite Siomai house. Been craving for it and decided to buy. Ok. The lachrymose part of my post starts here.
My earphones were plugged in and music on going. Near the end of footbridge may lalaking bumangga sa akin. I paused. I looked at him and we had an eye contact. Lumingon ako sa likod, tapos tumingin ulit sa kanya. And that moment after I glanced at him the second time, the music stopped. I know it sounds romantic, but this is not a love story because that moment I realized that my phone got stolen. Nakita ko ang pocket ko, empty and my earphones hanging on the ground connected to none. [Time phasing: Very fast.]
The next thing I saw was this guy being cautious. Yes, nakita ko siya with his faster-but-trying-to-act-calm-and-normal walk. I don’t know how did that happened. Gusto ko sanang sumigaw or atleast i-approach siya pero I was vigilant enough and thought he might have his barkada somewhere. Standing by. And in any moment na may gawin ako, someone will stab me. So, I thought about my family, my future and things I would love to do with my life, and yeah… taray di ba? Thought I have another choice. Alam ko there are usual police patrol at the location. But guess fate has its own way of cracking a joke dahil congratulation, wala akong nakita ni-isa. YEHEY!
I was standing in the middle of the crowd with this accept-the-lost-of-your-fone face and realized, there’s no chance of getting it back. Memories flashing like a music video, all saved contacts, music, images and sh*t MESSAGES and OH! MY! my deepest thoughts and desires saved in my NOTES! OM! Please don’t publish it. Alam ko nakakadagdag lang ‘to sa frustrations ko kaya huminto ako sa pag-iisip (panandalian). I lost my appetite for siomai because of that incident (nakakaiinis) and even though its raining, I didn’t bother to use my umbrella for… yes, for additional dramatic element on the situation while doing my walk of shame.
Since I don’t text that much or simply have no load all the time. I’m much more worried for lost messages, notes and music. And I know this sounds cliche but yeah, you can reach me thru this somehow useful facebook or just write me a letter and mail it at my house address. Thank you.
I hate posting this but I’ll post it anyway. In loving memory of my phone, 2011-2013.